[{DvT}Soapy]

To all my health conscious friends. This is for you.

>
>
> The couple were 85 years old, and had been married for sixty years.
>
> Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they
> watched their pennies.
>
> Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the
> life's nagging insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last
> decade.
>
> One day, their good health didn't help when they went on a rare
> vacation and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven.
>
> They reached the pearly gates, and St. Peter escorted them inside. He took
> them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a
> fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath. A maid could be
> seen hanging their favourite clothes in the closet.
>
> They gasped in astonishment when St. Peter said, 'Welcome to Heaven. This
> will be your home now.'
>
> The old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost.
>
> 'Why, nothing,' Peter replied, 'remember, this is your reward in Heaven.'
>
> The old man looked out the window and right there he saw a championship
> golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever-built on Earth.
>
> 'What are the greens fees?', grumbled the old man.
>
> 'This is heaven,' St. Peter replied. 'You can play for free, every day.'
>
> Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with
> every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to steaks
> to exotic deserts, free flowing beverages.
>
> 'Don't even ask,' said St. Peter to the man. 'This is Heaven, it is
> all free for you to enjoy.'
>
> The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his wife.
>
> ' Well, where are the low fat and low c holesterol foods, and the
> decaffeinated tea?' he asked.
>
> 'That's the best part,' St. Peter replied. 'You can eat and drink as
> much as you like of whatever you like, and you will never get fat or sick.
> This is Heaven!'
>
> The old man pushed, 'No gym to work out at?'
>
> 'Not unless you want to,' was the answer.
>
> 'No testing my sugar or blood pressure or...'
>
> 'Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself.'
>
> The old man glared at his wife and said, 'You and your bran muffins. We
> could have been here ten years ago!