ARITHMETIC
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>Smart man + smart woman = romance
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>Smart man + dumb woman = affair
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>Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
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>Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
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>OFFICE ARITHMETIC
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>Smart boss + smart employee = profit
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>Smart boss + dumb employee = production
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>Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
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>Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
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>SHOPPING MATH
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>A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
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>A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
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>GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
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>A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
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>A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
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>A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
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>A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
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>HAPPINESS
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>To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
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>To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
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>LONGEVITY
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>Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
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>PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
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>A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
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>A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
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>DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
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>A woman has the last word in any argument.
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>Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
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>HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
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>Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
My mom is a 67 email junkie...I thought I would share this with you all...
