Tips for your Bosses

[Drakken]

1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00pm and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.

2. If it’s really a “rush job”, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it’s going. That helps. Or even better, hover behind me, advising me at every keystroke.

3. Always come or leave without telling anyone where you’re at. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.

4. Wait until my yearly review and THEN tell me what my goals SHOULD have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating with a cost of living increase. I’m not here for the money anyway.

5. If you give me more than one job to do, don’t tell me which is the priority. I like being a psychic.

6. Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work.

7. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets out, it could mean a promotion.

8. If you don’t like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversations. I was born to be whipped.

9. If you have special instructions for a job, don’t tell me. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with useful information.

10. Never mention me to the other people you’re working with. I have no right to know anything. In the corporate food chain, I am plankton.

11. Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and it’s nice to know someone is less fortunate. I especially like the story about having to pay so much taxes on the bonus check you received for being such a good manager.

[{OF}Blong]

hah how about

dont communicate anything to me. Ill find out from the plant manager anyways.

[Eliasen]

or, oh we launched that? Yes sir ill go buy some wireless networking cards for these new modems with my own money.

[Capt. Insane]

bwahahahahahaha thats hilarious drak. reminds me of office space

[Eliasen]

Reminds me of my day job!!!!!! And I still can't stop laughing!!!!!!!! hahaha thanks for those!