I love mustard

dbabe · 07-22-2006, 08:35 AM

As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection: a thick slab of ham on a fresh bun with crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, gourmet mustard. The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it to the table in our backyard, picked it up with both hands but was stopped by my wife suddenly at my side.
"Here, hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while I get my sandwich," she said.
I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was reaching again for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of mustard on my fingers.
I love mustard.
I had no napkin.
I licked it off.
It was not mustard.
No man ever put a baby down faster. It was the first and only time I have sprinted with my tongue protruding. With a washcloth in each hand, I did the sort of routine shoeshine boys do; only I did it on my tongue.
Later, after she stopped crying from laughing so hard, my wife said, "Now you know why they call that fancy mustard "Poupon."

{OF}Blong · 07-22-2006, 08:41 AM

omg thats hilarious.

btw I just posted on another post wondering where ya were as I havent seen ya post in a while lol.

{OF}Malicious Assault · 07-22-2006, 10:13 AM

HAHA ROMFLMAO, that is great

{OF}Flying_Dutchman · 07-22-2006, 04:34 PM

suki · 07-23-2006, 01:14 AM

if that's true that is hilarious

Doom · 07-23-2006, 01:33 AM

wowsers.

I'll stick with Miracle Whip, it's da bomb.