Darwin Awards

[{OF}G_Man]

I don't know if these are new, old, made-up, or what, but I hadn't seen them before.

G


"..And once again, it's time for the Darwin Award Nominees.



The Darwin award is awarded every year to the person(s) who died In the
most stupid manner, thereby removing themselves from the gene pool.



This year's nominees are:



Nominee No. 1: [San Jose Mercury News]: An unidentified man, using a
shotgun like a club to break a former girlfriend's windshield, accidentally
shot himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.



Nominee No. 2: [Kalamazoo Gazette]: James Burns, 34, (a mechanic)
of Alamo, MI was killed in March as he was trying to repair what police
describe as a "farm-type truck." Burns got a friend to drive the truck on a
highway while Burns hung underneath so that he could ascertain the
source of a troubling noise. Burns' clothes caught on something,
however, and the other man found Burns "wrapped in the drive shaft".



Nominee No. 3: [Hickory Daily Record]: Ken Charles Barger, 47,
accidentally shot himself to death in December in Newton, NC.
Awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone beside his bed, he
reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith & Wesson 38
Special, which discharged when he drew it to his ear.


Nominee No. 4: [UPI, Toronto]: Police said a lawyer demonstrating the
safety of windows in a downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a
pane with his shoulder and plunged 24 floors to his death. A police
spokesman said Garry Hoy, 39, fell into the courtyard of the Toronto
Dominion Bank Tower early Friday evening as he was explaining the
strength of the buildings windows to visiting law students. Hoy previously
has conducted demonstrations of window strength according to police
reports. Peter Lawson, managing partner of the firm Holden Day Wilson,
told the Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was "one of the best and
brightest" members of the 200-man association.



Nominee No. 5: [The News of the Weird]: Michael Anderson Godwin
made News of the Weird posthumously. He had spent several years
awaiting South Carolina's electric chair on a murder conviction before
having his sentence reduced to life in prison. While sitting on a metal
toilet in his cell attempting to fix his small TV set, he bit into a wire
and
was electrocuted.



Nominee No. 6: [The Indianapolis Star]: A cigarette lighter may have
triggered a fatal explosion in Dunkirk IN. A Jay County man, using a
cigarette lighter to check the barrel of a muzzle loader, was killed
Monday night when the weapon discharged in his face, sheriff's
investigators said. Gregory David Pryor, 19, died in his parent's rural
Dunkirk home at about 11:30 PM. Investigators said Pryor was cleaning
a 54-caliber muzzle-loader that had not been firing properly. He was
using the lighter to look into the barrel when the gunpowder ignited.



Nominee No. 7: [Reuters, Mississauga, Ontario]: A man cleaning a bird
feeder on the balcony of his condominium apartment in this Toronto
suburb slipped and fell 23 stories to his death.
Stefan Macko, 55, was standing on a wheelchair when the accident
occurred, said Inspector Darcy Honer of the Peel Regional Police. "It
appears that the chair moved, and he went over the balcony," Honer
said.



Finally, THE WINNER!!!: [Arkansas Democrat Gazette]: Two local men
were injured when their pickup truck left the road and struck a tree near
Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday. Woodruff County
Deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after midnight
Monday. Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc, and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of
Little Rock, were returning to Des Arc after a frog catching trip On an
overcast Sunday night, Poole's pickup truck headlights malfunctioned.
The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older-model truck
had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis noticed
that the .22 caliber bullets from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box
next to the steering-wheel column. Upon inserting the bullet the
headlights again began to operate properly, and the two men proceeded
on eastbound toward the White River Bridge. After traveling
approximately 20 miles, and just before crossing the river, the bullet
apparently overheated, discharged, and struck Poole in the testicles. The
vehicle swerved sharply right, exiting the pavement and striking a tree.
Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident but will
require extensive surgery to repair the damage to his testicles, which will
never operate as intended. Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was
treated and released. "Thank God we weren't on that bridge when
Thurston shot his balls off, or we might both be dead," stated Wallis. "I've
been a trooper for 10 years in this part of the world, but this is a first
for
me. I can't believe that those two would admit how this accident
happened," said Snyder. Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia
(Poole's wife) asked how many frogs the boys had caught and did
anyone get them from the truck???



(Though Poole and Wallis did not die as a result of their misadventure as
normally required by Darwin Award Official Rules, it can be argued that
Poole did, in fact, effectively remove himself from the gene pool.)

[Soul]

Those are old I believe, as I have read some of those before, the .22 shell for a fuse was on mythbusters a while back as well.

The Darwin Awards has recent ones.

But thanks for the laugh, I like the shotgun as a club one.

[{OF}Malicious Assault]

I've see most of those before and several have been proven as false. #4 no one could find any past new paper reports that this happened and the last one the same thing, no reports could be found that this happened. Though the Myth Busters proved that it was possible