M v F

[Skull]

Reasons Why It's Great to Be a Guy
-Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
-Movie nudity is virtually always female.
-A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
-Monday Night Football.
-The bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
-You can open all your own jars.
-Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind.
-When clicking through the channels, you don't have to stall on every shot of someone crying.
-A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex.
-You don't have to lug a bag of useless stuff around everywhere you go.
-You understand why the movie "Stripes" is funny.
-You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
-The garage is all yours.
-You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
-You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.
-If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
-Your underwear is $10 for a three pack.
-The National College Cheerleading Championship.
-You don't have to shave below your neck.
-If you're 34 and single nobody notices.
-Everything on your face stays its original color.
-You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
-Flowers fix everything.
-You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
-Three pair of shoes is more than enough.
-Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.
-Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into the room.
-You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
-Auto mechanics tell you the truth.
-You can watch a game in silence with you buddy for hours without even thinking, "He must be mad at me."
-You get to jump up and slap stuff.
-One mood, all the time.
-You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.
-You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.
-You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing.
-Gray hair and wrinkles add character.
-Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
-You don't mooch off others' desserts.
I-f you retain water, it's in a canteen.
-The remote is yours and yours alone.
-ESPN's Sports Center.
-Bachelor parties rule over bridal showers.
-You don't need to pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom.
-If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become life long buddies.
-The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
-New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
-You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries.
-Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So... notice anything different?"
-Baywatch.
-There is always a game on somewhere.

[Skull]

Reasons Why It's Great to Be a Girl
-Free dinners.
-You can cry without pretending there's something in your contact.
-Speeding ticket? What's that?
-You actually get extra points for sitting on your butt, watching sports.
-If you're a lousy athlete, you don't have to question your worth as a human being.
-A new lipstick gives you a whole new lease on life.
-In high school, you never had to walk down the hall with your binder strategically positioned.
-If you have to be home in time for Ally McBeal, you can say so, out loud.
-If you're not making enough money, you can blame the glass ceiling.
-If you're not very attractive, you can fool 'em with makeup.
-If you use self-tanner, it doesn't necessarily mean you're a big loser.
-You could possibly live your whole life without ever taking a group shower.
-Brad Pitt.
-You don't have to fart to amuse yourself.
-You'll never have to decide where to hide your nose-hair clippers.
-When you take off your shoes, nobody passes out.
-If the person you're dating is much better at something than you are, you don't have to break up with him.
-If you think the person your dating really likes you, you don't have to break up with him.
-If you don't shave, no one will know.
-If you're dumb, some people will find it cute.
-You don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
-You can dress yourself.
-Your hair is yours to keep.
-If you ARE bald, people will think you did it on purpose, and you're really chic.
-You don't have to pretend to like cigars.
-You'll never have to blow 2 months salary on anything.
-If you marry someone 20 years younger, you know you look like an idiot.
-You're rarely compelled to scream at the TV.
-You and your friends don't have to get totally wasted in order to share your feelings.
-If you pick up the check once in a while, that's plenty.
-Sitting and watching people is all the entertainment you need.
-Your friend won't think you're weird when you ask if there's spinach in your teeth.
-When you get a million catalogues in the mail, it's a good thing.
-Sometimes, chocolate truly can solve all your problems.
-If you're under 6', you don't have to lie about it.
-You'll never regret piercing your ears.
-You can fully assess someone just by looking at his or her shoes.
-You'll never discover you've been fooled by a Wonderbra.
-You don't have hair on your back.
-If anything on your body isn't as big as it should be, you can get implants.
-You can tell which glass was yours by the lipstick mark.
-If you have big ears, no one has to know.
-You can be attracted to someone just because they're really funny.
-You can borrow your spouse's clothes and it doesn't mean you belong on Jerry Springer.

[Capt. Insane]

this is really similar to another topic. but still really really funny and much appreciated

[{OF}Blong]

If anything on your body isn't as big as it should be, you can get implants.

same holds true for men. funny list . glad to see ya play a few minues with me in jb on dfa server .

[dbabe]

Brad Pitt, 'nough said

[{OF}RKT]

Guys can write their names in the snow...

[{OF}Blong]

Originally Posted by {OF}RKT

Guys can write their names in the snow...

so can women ive seen it done.

[Capt. Insane]

Originally Posted by {OF}Blong

so can women ive seen it done.

does your wife know you've witnessed such things, blong?

[{OF}Blong]

well being as they were before i met wildflower no she dont .

[{OF}Malicious Assault]

LOL, these are always good