walmart application

[{OF}Blong]

This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen
submitted to Walmart in Arkansas.

They hired him because he was so funny.........you gotta love it!!!

NAME: George Martin

SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least
one that will cooperate)

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But
seriously, whatever's available.
If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in
the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael
Ovitz style severance package.
&! nbsp; If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens
and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to
a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be
here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOUL! D PROHIBIT YOU FROM
LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what? < BR>
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here
would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already
be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no! On my breaks - yes!

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the
Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the
greatest thing since sliced bread.
Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

NEAREST RELATIVE....7 miles

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF
YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.

[NiRvAnA]

Something i would do

[{OF}Malicious Assault]

LOL, that a good one.

[Soul]

LMAO, that is great

[{OF}RKT]

LMAO, classic!!! Good find Blong...

[{OF}G_Man]

[{OF}Flying_Dutchman]

LOL

[{OF}GreyGhost]

ROFLMAO...that is hilarious! Hell, I would hire him in a heart beat.