16 THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN:

[{OF}G_Man]

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
5. You should not confuse your career with your life.
6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
7. Never lick a steak knife.
8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
13. A person who is nice to you but rude to a waiter is not a nice person.
(This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
14. Your friends love you anyway.
15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
16. Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

[{OF}Malicious Assault]

Oh so true

[{OF}Flying_Dutchman]

Originally Posted by {OF}G_Man

16. Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

Or then some of us turn into raisins instead

[{OF}BadDaWg]

Originally Posted by {OF}G_Man

12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

Ya. SO!!!!!!!!!!!

[{OF}Blong]

Originally Posted by {OF}BadDaWg

Ya. SO!!!!!!!!!!!

I am above average . Just ask wildflower. Smiley is above average 2 . nothing like doing 65 on a kinda snowy day and next thing you know your doing 35 cause someone doesnt know the diff between the gas pedal and the break. that person doing 35 prob hits there breaks 900x in a half mile span.

[d-fragger]

Those are great!!! Well Done

[dudio]

13. A person who is nice to you but rude to a waiter is not a nice person.
(This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

what does this mean?

[ARX|Frag4U]

Means they are two faced and will stab you in the back later.