First Official Joke

[{OF}RKT]

My friends dad, Al Viciano told us this joke when we were like 13. Some may have heard it before, but I stumpled across is and it brought a smile to my face.

An Italian gentleman is telling his friend about his vacation in America.

One day, imma gonna New York City to bigga hotel. Inna morning, I go to eat breakfast. I tella the waitress, I wanna two pissa toast. She bringa me only one piss. I tella her I wanna two piss. She say go to the toilet. I say no understand, I wanna two piss onna plate. She say you better no piss onna plate, you sonna ma *****. I donna even know the lady and she call me a sonna ma *****.

Later I go eat at bigga restaurant. The waitress bring me a spoon and a knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock, shee tella me everyone wanna fock. I tella her you dont understand, i wanna fock on the table. She say you better no fock onna table, you sonna ma *****.

So, I go back to my room inna hotel and there is no shite onna my bed. I call the manager and tella him I wanna shite onna my bed. He say you better no **** onna bed, you sonna ma *****.

I go check out and the man at the desk say "peasce on you". I say piss onna you too, you sonna ma *****. I gonna back to Italy.

[Capt. Insane]

little old, eh? how bout this one (i apologize now if you are/know/like lawyers, it's not directed at anyone here, just at all the idiot lawyers like the one for helping a burglar sue someone when said burglar broke his arm trying to break into someone's home):

A lawyer and the devil are standing in a room in hell. The room has shelves on all walls and on each shelf is a clock spinning at different speeds with the name of every profession imprinted, one on each clock.
The lawyer turns to the devil and says, "I've got two questions for you."
The devil says, "Ok, what are your questions?"
"My first question is: why are all these clocks spinning at different speeds?"
"That's how fast each one of those professions comes down here. What's your second question?"
The lawyer says, "Where's the one for lawyers?"
"We keep that one in the workshop; we use it as a fan."

This one cracks me up just typing it

[{OF}Blong]

hmm didnt work for me at nachos still dont here

[{OF}MadD!]

[{OF}Erad]

Ok..............